My Birth Story: Beau
I was four days passed my due date and scheduled for an induction in three days. At 10pm that night I started to feel my first set of contractions but like most mama-to-be’s I chalked it up to good ‘ol Braxton-Hicks. I woke up all throughout the night and at 7am woke up hubby to tell him we were closer than ever to meeting our boy.
Throughout the day I did all the things the prenatal instructor suggested. I ate popsicles, drank gatoraide, ate a small meal, took a bath and shower, and of course put Mario to work on massaging me. We went for a small walk up our street and then the contractions really began.
We had everything packed and ready to head to the hospital. All I remember about the car ride was being curled up in fetal position in the back seat. Once we arrived I walked in alone with bags in hand, clutching my stomach in pain. As if having a baby isn’t hard enough, throw a global pandemic to top if off so your husband can’t come in the hospital with you.
Once we arrived around 5pm they checked me and I was only 2-3 centimeters. For reference I was at 2-3 centimeters for three weeks leading up to this point. At that moment we decided to throw our birth plan out the window and accepted the epidural and Mario was then allowed in.
Like most people I was nervous for the epidural but it was really no big deal in comparison to labor pain. For some sick reason I wanted to see the needle and have Mario video it going in. As you can probably guess I’m one of those weirdos, and yes I enjoy watching Dr. Pimple Popper from time to time as well. They refused my request and proceeded to numb me. After the needle was removed and the tubing was placed in the Anesthesiologist informed me that they had “bad news”. As you can imagine my mind went to worst case scenario and it went a little something like this… I’m not a candidate for an epidural, I’m going to have to deal with the pain unmedicated and most dramatic of all I’m going to die from all the pain. What he actually said was he missed the spot and hit a vein and it started to clot. On to epidural number 2. The Anesthesiologist inserted the needle a little higher this time and said it looked like it was working beautifully.
After being checked a number of times after that they gave me Pitocin to speed things along. Throughout the night I kept asking for boosts to my epidural because I was still in so much pain. The nurses didn’t know why, that is until they placed a small bag of ice on my left side to see how far down I could feel. Turned out I couldn’t feel up to the right side of my neck and ear. They were completely numb but I could feel all the way down my left side. It seemed because the epidural was done a second time it wasn’t working the way it should. Cue epidural number 3!
The doctor determined I was fully dilated and effaced. My OB said we should wait a little longer for Beau to come down more. Once our nurse came in and I told her I felt like a had to poop and she said that means it’s time to push. So With Mario holding one leg and a nurse holding the other I pushed with all my might. What you don’t see in the movies or the prenatal classes is that you push for 10 seconds three times in a row. It is not as easy as it seems. After the doctor walked in she asked the nurse why I was pushing when she wanted me to wait and the doctor and nurse went to the side and seemed to have an argument on whether or not I should be pushing. I pushed for three hours, no that was not a typo, THREE HOURS! I was still in pain though so they gave me two extra injection boosts into my epidural.
Once the OB saw my exhaustion they knew I couldn’t push any longer so they gave me two options, Option 1: attempt an episiotomy and vacuum Beau out or; Option 2: go straight for a C-section. The only problem with option 1 was that they strongly believed our boy was too big to fit through my pelvis. They thought I would end up having a C-section regardless. Although I felt this huge let down that I could not have the birth plan I intended, life never goes as planned. So rather than likely having to heal from a vaginal incision and an abdominal incision, I elected for the C-section and we were wheeled to operating room.
They prepped both Mario and I and began to take the epidural out. They inserted a spinal to freeze me for the surgery. The nurse had warned me that I may feel like it is challenging to breath. I did feel like I was struggling to breath so they placed an oxygen mask on me. I still felt like something else was off though. I started to not be able to see. My eyes felt so heavy like right before you’re about to fall asleep but you’re trying to focus on something and you just can’t. I didn’t feel right so dramatics aside I said “I feel like I’m dying”. After that I couldn’t say anything else. My brain and body were shutting down and I couldn’t see or speak anymore. It felt like when people have described being in a coma, they can’t move, talk or see but they could hear everything. I was terrified. In hindsight I realize that with all the epidurals running through my system, the extra injection boosts and the added spinal injection I was higher than a kite. All I really remember is someone near my feet telling me to open my eyes and meet my son. At 10:48 am on August 26th 2020 Beau Paul Bazinet entered the world and filled our hearts. I couldn’t hear him cry or see him in those first moments but I hoped with all my heart that he was okay. I felt robbed of the entire experience. I am so grateful to our nurse that asked for my phone prior so she could take pictures.
A moment I will never forget is Mario holding our brand new baby boy next to me and kissing my head to reassure me everything was going to be okay. He held Beau right up to me and tears streamed down my face he wiped those tears. The next thing I knew I woke up in a room with Mario holding Beau and about an hour and a half had passed.
I was by no way pleased about my birth experience but I wouldn’t change it for the world. This process brought me to my son. It brought me to Beau.